How to Talk to Children About the War
For many months, Israel has been experiencing the longest war in its history, and children’s lives have been deeply disrupted. Fear, uncertainty, anxiety, and the absence of routine are just some of the challenges every child must cope with—even if they have not themselves fled the violence in the north or south.
It is important to help children make sense of this complex reality, especially at a time when they can easily be exposed to unfiltered information from sources we would not want them to encounter. Talking to children about war is difficult and sensitive, but approaching the conversation with empathy, honesty, and age-appropriate language can make a real difference. Here are some tips to guide you:
Understand your child’s level of awareness before starting
Children may have already heard frightening things or seen disturbing images. Understanding what they already know can help you address their specific fears and questions. Ask them what they know and how they feel about it. Some children may respond with silence—in such cases, try talking while doing a creative activity that helps them feel more comfortable opening up.
Choose the right time and place
Find a quiet and safe environment where children feel secure. Timing is important: choose a moment when both you and your child are calm. For example, during a family meal. Avoid beginning such conversations right before bedtime.
Be honest and age-appropriate
Children have the right to know what is happening around them, and adults have the responsibility to explain reality in a way they can understand. Use simple, clear language appropriate for their age. Avoid graphic details or disturbing images. Provide only the essential information, and remember that children also pay attention to body language—if we appear anxious, they will feel anxious too. Aim to convey calmness and reassurance.
Encourage questions
Let your child know it is okay to ask questions, and be ready to answer them as best you can. If you do not know the answer, be honest and suggest finding out together.
Acknowledge their feelings
Children may feel fear, confusion, or anxiety. Do not dismiss their emotions—instead, reassure them that these feelings are natural. Emphasize that they are safe as much as possible, and highlight the efforts being made nationwide to help keep everyone protected.
Highlight kindness and solidarity
Children should know that people are helping one another, showing generosity and courage. Share positive stories about mutual support. Encourage children to take part in constructive activities—such as drawing a picture for someone who is helping, or contributing to fundraising or donation efforts.
Limit exposure to media
Be mindful of the content your child is exposed to. Graphic images and difficult information circulate widely online and can greatly increase anxiety. Younger children, in particular, may struggle to distinguish between television and reality, leading them to feel in constant danger. Consider limiting screen time and access to social media.
Prepare for ongoing conversations
Do not end a discussion while your child is still distressed. Reassure them that they can always come back to you with questions or concerns. Check in periodically, ask how they are feeling, and explain developments in the war calmly and in an age-appropriate way.
Every child is different, so adapt your approach to their age, personality, and level of understanding. Be patient, listen actively, and provide comfort and reassurance as needed.
With hope for better days ahead,
UNICEF Israel